Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Dedicated to every surfer who's smoked his/her brains out.

You might not know it from my posts, but I spend waaaay too much time on my laptop.
"No way, maaan."
"Waaay, dude."
Well, now I've decided to slam a picture of me nude, uh...wait a sec! How did that get...?!!?
CRASH, THUD, scrambling for power cord.
There's only one thing missing now: a good blam.
And moving right along, here's a screenshot of my trusty old laptop's screen.

For those of you scratching your heads, the text on the screen is being displayed by a program called Conky. It's a marvellously useful bit of useless software. Mucho funno to configure and contort into kickass shapes for continuously updated stats on one's trusty laptop. Well, you need at least geekish tendencies to properly enjoy this. But JUST LOOK at how cool it looks!!!!
No doubt you, my clever reader, have already intuited that you are looking at a KDE desktop. And since it's KDE, why, the chappy on the keyboard must be running some variance of Linux or other such God-forsaken *nix environment.
Why God forsaken?
Quite simple, really. If geeks packed guns instead of PDAs, there would be bloodshed in the streets on a scale which would make Mr. Khan blush, were he alive.
Take the way I'm spelling Unix: *nix. What in all the unholy blazes of hell is that all about? Well, to make a really, really long story short...
Once upon a time some computer dudes at a uni came up with some super cool ideas for running masses of hardware. Owing to funding and the nature of things, eventually business got involved, and when some other dudes tried branching out, the Big Bad Business pouted for a bit then stamped their feet. Actually, they didn't exactly stamp. They sent a team of lawyers over for tea and biscuits, but the lawyers stayed for years and years and nobody could get them to leave. Consequently, it's technically illegal to call most variants of Unix, "Unix." They're more or less from the same family, but the bad blood comes out at every reunion.
Julio carefully reached behind his chair. It was only a matter of time. BANG! the door slammed into the wall. BLAM! BLAM! came the response. Julio's lips tried to smile in their thin way. He'd always liked brief introductions.
And that is, like, totally a gnarly bedtime story.

August 29, 2009. Update:


1 comment:

  1. Hey man, I just checked out your new desktop on flickr. Not cool, dude. I mean, that guy took a lot of time, and maybe sweat...or something. It could have been a hot day. SO! Back off me, man! I can say, sweat. NO. Well, you were the one who started the fire. I told you not to bother me when I'm writing. Uhh, where, what's...oh yeah. So, that guy took all that time to make a sick photo, and you bastardized it on your old laptop. (Yeah, I've seen your laptop, dude.) I'm disappointed.


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